No shit. The only thing more annoying would be a Trojan ad where athlete dong pops out and mushroom stamps you.

Besides Carl Everett, the biggest pain in the ass in a Ranger's uniform? The mascot's hemorrhoid.

Never fear. I may be unemployed again soon, then I'll be able to make bad jokes all day long.

Anybody here have a good understanding of the rationale behind NBA scheduling?

Another good strategy is to loiter around sports venues and wait for ushers to drop dead.

Looks like a fun place. I'll have to check it out the next time I'm in NY.

Do you want Bar #2 to be consistent with the brand of the first bar, or are you trying to create an entirely new type of place?

Jesus Christ we're getting old.

+1. Brilliant.

Don't be too quick to jump on this. Sure, the job provides great exposure, increased legitimacy and a nice salary bump, but how's their "athlete dong plan?"

Absolutely.

It's terrible design, but it increases clicks.

You'd think a card-carrying genius (and you know this guy actually carries his Mensa card) could write a more clever comic strip than Dilbert.

Just read that Lincecum gave $25K to the family of the beaten Giants fan.

That would be great! A classic "old guy" vs. "new guy" battle.

I don't give a fuck about color! If there's grass on the field, it's time to play ball!

Even with Louis CK, Mel Brooks, Conan and Chris Rock writing for him, The Situation doesn't have what it takes to be funny.

This week's an easy answer . . .

The flow of life.

If your commencement speech was as self-indulgent as this article, I can understand why James Franco and others wouldn't like it.