@Phil Mickelsons Man Tits: Close your tags, moron. Sorry.

@debclan: Only if you're predisposed to believe he is a slacker.

Hi. I'm PMMT, and I'll be your (former) server.

'Cause Urban Meyer has a way with a-n-g-i-n-a

Just because some one is a self-righteous douche, doesn't mean they're always wrong.

@CremeBruDont: Thanks for a thoughtful, measured response.

@Jessica Marshall: Of course not. Nowhere in my post do I imply that.

@Penny: Stop with the name calling. You have no idea where my "bar is set."

Amy Dickinson is clearly implying that the victim's decision-making set in motion the events of the night, but in no way is she absolving the rapist of his crime.

"Purple-Helmeted Warrior: How One Giant Dick Stood Up and Aroused a State."

I gave her a disgusted look and said: "why would they want to talk to him!" "I wouldn’t talk to him if my life depended on it!" I didn’t say much more I wanted to enjoy my night; I am pretty laid-back, non-judgmental . . .

@BruschisBrewsky: The DT's are rough. Stephon Marbury takes the edge off with Vaseline. That, and bags and bags of weed. #minnesotatimberwolves

As a fan of the Knicks, a letter like this from James Dolan would be goddamned, downright heartwarming. But alas, that stubby little fuck is too busy drying out, spending Daddy's money and making shitty blues music to even notice that he destroyed a franchise.

Bet his parents are proud. And related. #olemissrebels

@Bobby Big Wheel: Both lessons paled in comparison to the frightening head trauma we all suffered when Moe dropped by.

I'm pretty sure Moe has no ambitions of being an actual writer. The only explanation is that she's subjecting us to performance art. #malcolmgladwell

@Phil Mickelsons Man Tits: Nice job uploading the photo, schmuck.

@VoteChooch: Yeah, they look positively morose.

Other items purchased included $36 rigatoni.

No more failgate?!? But I never got to submit my story. Here we go . . .