Yeah, screw these pussies and their "therapy." They should take a cue from Donnie Moore and deal with their professional failings through attempted-murder-suicides!

@Ailanthus-altissima: Yeah. Those folks in South Dakota sure are lucky.

@BigTenObsession: He was rooting for the aliens in Independence Day, too.

@Michael Dukakis in '16: Hey! We're people too!

If you're a NCAA golf coach, and insist on giving gifts to your players, just go with a little cunnilingus.

I have a hand injury very similar to "skateboard guy." It's the result of [jizzhut.com] and unemployment.

@Weed Against Speed: Yes, but that was overturned, when it was ruled that "Whomever made the rhyme, did the crime."

As long as there are simpletons with terrible taste, the Reilly brand will thrive.

@Chris Hanson's Axe: Wait, wait, wait! I don't have a Facebook account. Are you saying that people voluntarily can answer questions about other people, to demonstrate how well they know them? And this is like, a thing?

@chilltown: Get off my lawn, you little fucker.

@ClintonPortishead: What are, a prime rib, a fleshlight, and a defibrillator

I see! And I suppose the guy kicking the player is named Billy Negro?!?

After his rampage, Zambrano was overheard whispering, "Don't worry, candy-bar vending machine, I'd never do anything to hurt you."

Legitimate question:

ROCK A PONY!

@Phil Mickelsons Man Tits: I mean Stan. Why should I know his name, when his own players don't?

"Um, whatever. Wrap it up, Jeff. We're not listening, and there are groupies on the other side of the door."

Why play the games if the refs already know who's going to win?

Everytime I see the Heineken "Just a Friend" commercial, I hold out a little hope that this time the guy in the front seat (with the too-cool-for-school glasses and hat) will get ejected from the vehicle in a horrible t-boning.

@ithacabaron: Nice one!