Sad story. Have a chuckle break with this AP gem:

@Mitch Comstein:

@ClintonPortishead: If you watch Jimmy Fallon, I can virtually guarantee your new bedtime will move up by about 14 minutes.

Reminds me of the time I was caught on the Fan Cam having a "cock fight" with The San Diego Chicken.

Real responsible, Steven Russo! You knew Deadspin was trying to set a pageviews record in February, and you wait until March to do this?!?

Juwanna Man 2, starring Josh Boone?

Considering these guys are from Detroit and Oakland, the phrase, "he's in a better place now," is true, even if they're found on a desolate tropical island.

If Marbury wins a ring with the Celtics, it'll be like the time Sir Edmund Hillary's crabs climbed Mt. Everest.

Let me tell you what I do know. Every day I come by to pick you up. And we go out, we have a few drinks, and a few laughs and it's great. But you know what the best part of my Friday is? It's for about ten seconds from when I pull up to the internet to when I get to your site. Because I think maybe I'll get up there…

Sorry to interrupt . . .

@Stev D:

Isn't Simmons calling somebody a self-parody a little a bit like Stuart Scott teasing somebody for nystagmus?

@McCroskey:

Look, the guy obviously shouldn't have been driving drunk, but in these economic times, when the grocery store is having a vomit sale, you get down there any way you can.

@Doyle McPoyle:

@J-No:

@Phil Mickelsons Man Tits:

@Business_Socks:

Is Bobby Jindal giving a political speech, or reading a book to a bunch of 1st graders?

@notthequarterback: