Not even José is that monstrous.

There's probably a joke about Times New Roman (Abramovic) in there somewhere, but I'm too drunk.

Isn’t Jersey Shithead redundant?

Hudson overreacting to the quality of a goal, just because it’s Messi that scored it? Inconceivable!

“..as the Argentine brought Ray Hudson to yet another orgasmic climax with an unstoppable volley.”

Obviously, as I can only assume Arsenal will be adopting those shorts to match their snug shirts.

Pique is an asshole, and Barca players should be above this shit. He needs to worry about his play, because he’s not even close to the player he used to be.

La Liga is the best to watch in the CL maybe, but the EPL is the best league to watch on a weekly basis. Sure only 5 different teams have ever won the league but week in and week out teams are playing other competitive teams. Stoke’s has Afellay, Bojan and Shaqiri ffs!

I don’t feel like typing a whole big dissertation to outline my point, which is this: fuck Barcelona.

Yes it is. These people died because Aaron Ramsey scored for Arsenal.

missed the most devastating one:

Man, dude just can’t stop leading with the crown of his helemet, huh?

This must not be one of the pictures, as that’s clearly a Real Doll, not a person.

That is, of course, if they can find her.

I can’t believe George Lucas drives a motherfucking Jeep.

This is not meant to be a backhanded compliment, but I thoroughly enjoy your soccer articles much more when you don’t write about Barcelona or Real. Thanks, Billy.

Blair Walsh Lived A Kicker’s Nightmare

It always sucks when a player gets blamed for a loss in the final seconds of a game as if the first 59 minutes didn’t matter. I know that it’s his job to kick routine field goals at a high percentage rate, but it’s also the job of the offense to score more than exactly 0 points throughout the rest of the game.

For some reason I don’t feel like blaming the loss on the only guy who scored points for his team yesterday.

By the way, there’s a whole lot of people out there bitching that the new movie is too much like the first Star Wars movie