Bynum: RAINDROPS!
Bynum: RAINDROPS!
-Threatening to kill a whole group of people
"I've changed my mind about this guy! Let's get him on our team!" - Anonymous NFL exec
Why couldn't they just hug it out? Life is too short! After all, time spent tweeting emo tweets is time spent not crushing puss, bro.
"FUN FACT: Jonathan Martin told me he thought about taking his own life in MAY 2013 b/c he wasn't playing well. Told me he felt worthless."
FACT: HE HAD SUICIDAL THOUGHTS SO I AM RIGHT
I'm guilty of being a loyal friend and good teammate... I've never denied it.
What's the over/under on number of minutes it takes for him to claim he was "hacked"?
Seriously, how the fuck is this guy's real name Richie Incognito? That's the kind of fake name you give to a girl during a Vegas bachelor party.
Hopefully on his farewell tour there is a team generous enough to give Derek a Whirlpool Gold Freestanding Stainless Steel, or a Samsung Slide-in Electric with dual oven, as anyone of those represents a vast improvement over his current range.
The Twins plan to give him a chair made out of the balls he didn't get to in the hole.
In his honor, the Yankees will install a bronze statue of Jeter at the shortstop position in the Yankee Stadium (Mk. 2) infield for 2015.
To celebrate his retirement, Rawlings has awarded Jeter with the 2015 American League Gold Glove for Shortstop.
George Steinbrenner just rolled over in his grave. Also related, Kevin Maas just rolled over in the dumpster he was sleeping in and cut his back on an empty can of tuna.
"Really? He didn't give up playing, like, a year ago?"
Hopefully one of the teams on his farewell tour will give him some gloves.
Fan-fucking-tastic. This is going to make Mo's farewell tour look like an Irish goodbye.
What better way to say you care than a gift basket?
There you go sport....