Isaac "Articles" Lowenkron with the scoop.

I'm a Patriots fan, and I have to say, I really wish the Jets and Pats would just openly shit-talk instead of this cutesy bullshit. It could be so much more entertaining. I'd love to have just heard Bill Belichick call Rex Ryan a fat fuck in a press conference.

All of which prompts a question: Why does a $50 billion sports media enterprise continue to employ a sports business reporter who understands neither sports or business?

The NFL isn't very good at leading on social issues, but they're very good at following the marketplace.

Revoke the internet access of the guy who thinks this is a dirty play. I'll bet Petrovic feels pretty shitty about it, but he barely touched him.

I guess this is my generation's "guy who was completely, unilaterally, tragically derailed by injuries." Shame.

I cringe every time a guy uses "the situation with..." in reference to a violent crime he committed. Total lack of understanding and self awareness.

So let me get this straight:

I checked Rizzuto's BR page just out of curiosity, and JESUS he had himself an outlier of a year in 1950.

That vertical name tho.

We boomers were the first generation with parents who were ultra-concerned about making sure their children had a "better" childhood than they had.

I'm gonna go ahead and say there's nothing racist about being disgusted with a country that drags a woman through the streets and savagely cuts her head off with a sword. I don't believe that any judicial system should have the right to take a human life, but it's completely reasonable to say that aspects of Saudi…

I love the attempted argument that the extra five was to get something back in the way of round change, like giving $21 on a bill that's $10.50 to save the cashier his or her $1 bills. God damn New Math.

This just triggered the closest thing I have to post-traumatic stress disorder

Ah. My bad. I'm an idiot. I did find this:

I was wondering about this—is it accurate to say that 8.9% did NOT vote for Pedro, and presumably 2.7% did NOT vote for Johnson? We know Deadspin abstained, so others must have too, right? How much does that skew the vote?

Bunions.

I actually watched this whole game, and the 2-point-conversion decision was, I think, as much fatigue as anything else. They were playing in the fucking Bahamas and had been going up and down the field all day. I think everybody was cool with not going to OT one way or another.

Ansah's gotta get fined for this right? I know it happened fast and guys like to greenlight QBs when they scramble, but that's absurd.

Those shorts tho.