The sad thing is, that's probably the healthiest Mario Lemieux has been on the ice in years.

I still think this comment is Hatey's best of all-time:

Sean Astin doesn't have shit on this kid.

I haven't seen Nails that down and out since Trent Reznor's last heroin withdrawal.

@NoirJuggling: Grift of the Magi?

This year's Christmas card:

Ah, my friend's sister made the women's second team. I always knew being named after a saint's last name would someday pay off.

@AntoineWalker: Glorious.

@Matt Sussman: Heard it straight from his Maouth.

AntoineWalker, where art thou? I need another story.

Upon first glance I thought it said "Chelsea Handler Doesn't Give a Fuck", but by virtue of her somehow having a TV show I know that she has given a few fucks.

@7MinuteAbs: One more for the road. I just got into European club soccer and this guy is criminally underrated.

@vodkanaut: God, and his knees were shot by the age of 29.

@7MinuteAbs:

@Eddie Murray Sparkles: I believe my grandparents were conceived in the back seat of an iffy T.

A Florida high schooler, upset over an iffy T

Her full sign actually said, "PLEASE SEND BOOKS".

@lauren_jo: Each penis presents a new challenge. Good for you women and men with the ability to do it.

@FavreFAIL: I thought this was appropriate to the topic at hand.

For the models I chose this: