@SisterCarrie: Actually, the one athlete with a pussy and a small dick is Caster Semenya.

Just some advice: Don't make your Deadspin Editor fuck list viral.

"That American Express ain't his. Trust me."

@Lionel Osbourne: Cain and Unstable?

@Delonte, Interrupted: I heard the following about Swisher: "He is a douche, but he's the nicest douche you'll ever meet."

You can destroy a life for ratings

@See you suckers later: Or a Catholic Christmas Eve Mass. Those things always had me convinced I was set for the rest of my life with Mass hours.

That was fucking incredible. No one looked comfortable at all at the plate, and the Bruce walk was a close call.

Over the last 6 1/2 innings of the game: 1 hit total for both teams.

I think Dusty Baker still does half of this shit thinking, "Wonder what Tremendous will think of this? He's a funny guy."

@OchentaYcinco: Alledgedly, Marquis is also a dynamo in MLB: The Show.

Jesus Christ, it looks like Halladay's throwing a fucking wiffleball out there.

@wardsac: I do not get why Travis Wood is not in the rotation either.

@The_International_Poise_Conspi...: Situation is 28, Pauly D is 30, and everyone else is between 22-24.

@sweatingmullets: I miss Rockapella.

@Eddie Murray Sparkles: Tuskaloosa.

Is it too early to nominate Karen Owen for the Deadspin HOF?

"All individual fuck lists, are team fuck lists. You should have seen the broads Bench and I shared in the 70s."

"I'm not going to the game. I was gonna drive around and get a blowjob behind the Wachovia Center."

Cuntholes Finish First