“Democrats keep making up these words like ‘collusion’ and ‘extortion’ and ‘emoluments’ and ‘impeachment’. No one heard of these alleged words before Trump came into office. I mean, you viewers could check a dictionary but that’s kind of a complicated and time consuming task. We here at Fox & Friends checked into it…

Trump really needs to be careful though because the some in the GOP will only be quiet for so long.  

The snake that ate its tail, and then vomited up its own butt.

Seriously. It’s like:

Representative Robert Drinan drafted the first articles of impeachment against Nixon. The charge was the bombing of Cambodia.

If the Democrats wanted dick pics of Trump couldn’t they just search Ivanka’s IPhone? 

“As far as I am concerned, she’s no longer Speaker of the House.”

“Jack, can you come into the kitchen please....What did my husband just say to you about the potato skins? TELL ME NOW.”

FOX COMMENTATOR: “See, the suspect only robbed THREE banks, not the eight reported.”

THREE. IS. A. MULTIPLE. OF. ONE!

I gotta give you credit, you set up this joke perfectly and the punchline absolutely delivered. 10/10, would tell you to shut the fuck up again.

“Nice aid package ya got here. Be a real shame if something happened to it...”

Off topic, but Fleabag was fucking awesome and I’m glad she won all the trophy things.

“I stand strongly for the Constitution. It is the cornerstone of our democracy, but... my arm! Something is wrong with my arm! I ... can’t control it... it’s... its...voting against impeachment! Someone stop my arm! I am strongly against what my arm is doing! Believe me, I am deeply concerned about what my arm is…

Remember, folks: in the face of overwhelming evidence that Trump did treasonous and impeachable crimes, there is always somebody complaining that a Democrat or the family member of a Democrat is corrupt.

Troll on troll violence is my favorite type of Kinja 

She is almost as reviled by them as a school shooting survivor.

“This young lady is selling fear, and it’s disgusting. Now, let’s take a break to acknowledge our sponsor, GoldMarket. GoldMarket--the coming collapse of the Fed is coming, buy gold and protect your assets! Next, hippes are rabid and dangerous. We’ll spend the next three hours showing you a clip of one biting someone…

Any day now the shameless will begin to feel shame.

“Eddie Money did not take me home tonight. I never met him. He never treated me nicely. But I would like to wish his family well. He was a professional and I respect professionals. I respect you guys a lot, you people a lot. He was a real professional.”