Yeah I see it, something that would show up on Doctor Quinn, Medicine Woman. Which I can’t forgive for making the mom from The Wonder Years one of her mean sisters.

The exact thing I was thinking of. Also this:

Honestly I have no idea the difference between the two, but it’s equally absurd in either scenario.

Miss USA isn’t a scholarship program; it’s a straight cash grab. Miss America is the scholarship program.

I know these pageants are held up as “scholarship programs” or whatever, but these ladies, lovely as they are, are beauty queens. I find it kind of ridiculous that we ask them things like how to stop ISIS and how to fix race relations, when the reason these gals win is because they look the way they do in a bikini.…

Where would you even get that money from at age 5?

Well, she does say “cents,” and even five year olds have access to that kind of money. A five year old really has no concept of the difference between a quarter and $10,000.

kind of has a better joker face than leto.

I don’t know. . . . .I feel like my labia’s got Muscle Tone like the fucking Rock.

That last comment is just perfect

Nicky Hilton married a Rothschild looking this fucking amazing, and at Kensington Palace, too. She is winning the battle of the Hilton sisters.

If you like soap operas yes. It’s a good soap opera.

You get to sing whatever the hell you want, forever.

I wish I could sing I Am a Conqueror. One year ago today I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Today I am totally cancer free and kicking ass. But I am a baaaaaad singer. Like, the worst ever. Ah, well.

My sad, slow Iron and Wine-esque version of Drip Drop is going to catapult me to stardom.

In a sense, yes. But in another, truer sense, no.