You're forgetting what works for the vast majority of the wealthy:

You've been dead for 50 years!

Um, I don't know Colin, let me tell you a story about a stubborn young girl who hated sports and didn't like learning about things that she hated

For me, it's looking back at who I've loved previously. H-O-L-Y-S-H-I-T am I happy none of that worked out.

Let's be honest here, the only people who would do it are the bordering-on-middle-aged-thinks-they're-progressive-white-guys who ALREADY SPEND TOO FUCKING LONG TALKING TO YOU AND TRYING TO SEDUCE YOU.

Ugh. Distributing food with a mandatory side of Jesus is seriously Not Cool. I mean, it's worse when it's actually food for the needy, but sidewalk barbecue guy needs to cut it out, too.

Pictured: the former employees

I didn't realize my little guy had sisters out there, but apparently he does.

It gets worse when they learn to turn the faucets on. Trust me.

I have an issue with being out of toilet paper too. I always need to have some on supply or I am SO freaked out.

My husband uses toilet roll to blow his nose. If he has allergies or a cold going on, he will take a roll out of the bathroom to keep in the living room/office/kitchen where he is. Then he will leave it there.

oh, you can't? poor you.

I wish I was rich enough to participate in this boycott.

Hell yea, Sir Elton. I won't be buying any Dolce and Gabbana either.

Geez. You know, I really feel bad for Pamela Anderson. I feel like she's had a really tough life filled with a lot of abuse. I hope this is the start to a new, better chapter for her.

Well, it's possible that your pregnant friends/coworkers realize, even subconciously, that you're weirded out by them and seek out people who aren't.

I'd love an openly athiest president, of Islamic decent.

YOU GUYS I want an actual Muslim president so bad. It doesn't even matter where he or she stands on the issues; it would be worth it just to watch these morons cry and shit themselves.

Also, I can't edit my last response but I want to add on the fact that it's obvious in the interview that she blames her 'friendly Michigan naivete' for what happened to her. Which was a man gave her money for a pay phone, the call didn't go through, and then offered to let her use his phone in his apartment nearby.…

A red carpet that has no fashion would be boring, but how about we go back to the days before guys were boxed into a very limiting range of 'tuxedo' and 'slightly different tuxedo' for formal events? Men used to dress like peacocks pre-1850s (approximately). I want sartorial extravagance for both (all?) sexes!