I use the “I’ll time you trick” on my daughters all the time. Children are such adorable, glorious little morons.

I believe I’m the best instagram intern in the league.

- RGIII Intern

That first sentence got lost on its way to The Chive.

The fucking LeBrons or whatever

So it’s worse than beating your wife, but not as bad as beating your wife but being caught on tape.

Man, he’s gonna be pissed when someone reads this article to him.

"Some of my closest ghostwriting clients are black."

'How can I make money off of a basketball player?'"

Called the wrong guy. Mark Emmert would've been happy to give him some tips.

This revelation is pretty demoralizing. If we can't trust our memorabilia dealers, who the fuck can we trust?

You don't read Deadspin often, do you?