I really hate to defend that suit and shoes combo, but the colors are fine.

Why does he look like a very large ventriloquist dummy?

Family of the Year: Honors a family for its contributions to the game, and for representing the virtues and ideals of golf and family.

The whole family has an expression that says “I just hired someone to beat an immigrant to death with a folding chair.”

Why do both the Trump sons pucker their mouths up to resemble assholes when attempting to look serious and/or dignified?

The whole family has an expression that says “I just beat an immigrant to death with a folding chair.”

Honestly, Donald Trump as a long culled Russian plant explains everything there is about Donald Trump, from the 80s golden decor of his apartment to his presidential candidacy. All of it. Everything.

Companies generally don’t like being associated with killing their customers.

+1 more thinkpiece complaining about thinkpieces

But by focusing on fake problems and even making up problems allows me to not focus on real problems in the world.

Um... The stairs story literally happened to me, too. Voice on the stairs "betting" me I couldn't get down them fast enough, with bets getting larger until my life or soul was the bet. Kinda scary, but I never thought anything of it. That is, until now.

WHY DID I READ THESE AT WORK AFTER EVERYONE ELSE HAS GONE HOME!!!???

I forgot to tell my poultrygeist story! I have written about it before, but here it is:

Why am I reading these in a nearly abandoned museum? Why do I hate myself?

I spent the last hour of my work day reading these and as 5 rolls around...I realize that I have to leave in a few minutes and go home to a dark, empty (except for the cat and dog) place I call home. WHERE I KNOW A WOMAN DIED.

That last story pretty much scared the shit out of me.

WHILE I WAS READING THIS MY SOLITAIRE GAME FROZE.

What was the little girl? WHAT WAS IT?