Yeah, anesthesia ramblings are probably best left between you, the doctors and nurses who are trained to put up with your weirdness and have probably heard worse, and whoever has to drive you home.

I have this problem with my boyfriend. I like to tease him that he "loves things to death" because he will also literally wear clothes until they fall apart. I took a couple of approaches to this: I let him wear whatever he wants around the house. I know he likes his old clothes because they're comfy so if it's the…

I dunno if this is the way with all men, but when I met my boyfriend he was rather "Paul Bunyon-y" and owned one nice outfit for special occasions and then a closet full plaid shirts, jeans and t-shirts, mostly in muted colors like black and gray and brown. One day we went shopping together (at his suggestion) and it…

That's easy to say until you've battled multiple rounds of lice. My kid sister was like a fucking lice magnet. Anytime someone in our school got lice they seemed to find a way to her head. We had multiple waves of lice sweep through our house and to this day it still traumatizes her. (I only got it once, and a mild…

Yeah, my cats I adopted from the shelter were named "Socks" and "Beans" (though, I did kinda like "Beans" and lobbied to keep it, but my boyfriend thought it was dumb).

I kinda love giving cats weirdly normal human names. I've "adopted" (fixed and fed) quite a few stray cats over the years that I've given bland human names to: Gordon, Louise, Thomas, Yvette, Roger, etc.

Did this dude really text requesting breakup sex before noon? Between that and the precise scheduling he's like the weird administrative assistant of rough breakup sex.

Oh snap. I was going to bitch about this being a super unprofessional move for a member of the media, but it's a completely professional and even super smart move for a marketer/advocate. You go girl.

Oh man, and I thought it was bad that my cat likes to jump up on the toilet tank and look over my shoulder while I'm pooping.

My cats, because they're cats, don't always have to be in the same room with me but there's something about the bathroom door shutting that draws them near. The next thing I know there's always meowing and paws reaching under the door until I relent and let them in. Then they'll either stare at me unnervingly until I…

I mean, unless I got somewhere to go, I kinda like taking leisurely poops. Gives me some time to read and think without interruption. How much time do we get anymore where NO ONE is allowed to bother us? If the SO comes looking for me all I have to do is yell, "I'M POOPING. GEEZ." And he'll scuttle away with whatever…

That little bobtail kitten is KILLING ME with his nubbin tail.

They're born like that. There's a breed called bobtail cats. It's the result of a genetic mutation, but they are pretty dang cute.

I wanted to hate it, but I owned Barbies in the 80s and 90s so this is basically punching all my childhood nostalgia buttons. I almost squealed.

Dude, whatever. In college I slaved away in the back room of a cookie delivery company making dough in an industrial mixer and I routinely lifted my own 50lb bags of flour, among other heavy, large batch kitchen shit. I didn't exactly like it that much, but I was 22 and in good shape and needed beer money. I did it…

I know, cats are great! After my SO's grandma died, his grandpa started getting really senile but one of the things that could always bring him back was petting a cat. He loved to sit with them and talk with them. It was so sweet!

Ha. My mom gave similar but differently phrased advice. She always told me it was important to "get all your ya-yas out" before settling down and that's why she and dad hadn't married till they were 30.

Same here. My response would have definitely been: "GOODBYE FOREVER PHONE." Because I'll tell you what, just the fumes I got off her driving her home were bad enough. I would not want to be the one who'd dived in there and rooted around. It was definitely a game-changing boss-subordinate day for me.

I don't know if this counts as an actual poop story, but it involves poop.

It's not so bad. Then again, I never had to have Facebook as a teenager when my emotions were the most out of control, but it came about when I was in college in the prime of my dating/sleeping around. It does make it easy to obsess about people, but it can also have the opposite effect by taking all the mystery away.…