I wish a website existed that could tell the user if Your Team Sucks, and specifically Why.

I wish a website existed that could tell the user if Your Team Sucks, and specifically Why.

By stealing this pumpkin this guy becomes the American Southwestern Division East Northern representative in the Denslow Cup final, right?

By stealing this pumpkin this guy becomes the American Southwestern Division East Northern representative in the Denslow Cup final, right?

That the Denver Broncos franchise tried to silence dissent by whacking its QB and replacing him with an unknown 2016 sixth-rounder from Arkansas who’s never made an NFL start before?

What a soft European pansy. Didn’t even finish his shift. The NHL used to be so much tougher when they only allowed Canadians in the league.

A: Still not enough guacamole.

Worse than making Gruden physically come to the office, at the start of the season the team also said they could search his personal vehicle, instituted a “smart casual” dress code, and banned him from using encrypted messaging programs. What a fucking clueless and poorly run organization, right? Like who would make…

The headline lead me to believe that I was going to read an article about Kinja.

Look, times are tough. John Henry listed his Boca estate for $25 mil last December and now it’s only going for $15 mil. Kinda hard to justify keeping the best player on this roster around...

NY Post headline writers are drooling right now.

The giant meteorite

ESPN reported that the 37-year-old didn’t want the surgery, but it’ll be the doctors’ decision to make. 

The Dolphins are so horrendous this year that when the last undefeated team loses Mercury Morris is going to crack open a bottle of bleach.

Looking forward to Magic Johnson’s Top 60 Complaints list about Lonzo Balls shoes.

Will this story be updated with the results of the new “Favorite Teammate” poll once the votes are tallied?

We’re going to need both versions of WYTS from Drew on Monday.

The last time we all thought Falcons were going beat a bunch of assholes, the Patriots came back and won the Super Bowl anyway.

There is a 100% chance that some production assistant got that pathetic pastry from the Star Market at Boylston and Kilmarnock around the corner from Fenway Park.

Well no kidding a case of beer would make a bad booster seat. Everyone knows alcohol is a downer.

The same people who agree with this ass hat are probably also the same ones who are quick to point out that Jesus should be brought back into the classroom.