I’m gonna get exposed to a flyover tonight and be asked to stand for the National Anthem even though I’m just there to watch a football game.

> paramilitary contingent

Shooting himself in the foot while opposing anti-fascism is in character for new MLS Commissioner Colonel Klink.

Reggie White was a POS, so headhunting in NO was OK. Got it.

After seeing that, I’m never cutting my hair again.

The umpire responded by throwing a glass of red wine in Tsitsipas’ face, hitting him with a baguette, and then pondering his own existence while taking a long drag from a cigarette.

actually when you win it’s good

Dunking on Russians is as American as apple pie

Rolled my eyes so hard I saw my own brain.

I honest to God have no idea who you’re arguing with right now.

First can we talk about how brilliant of a name El Tráfico is for this rivalry?

Honestly the best bar stool sports content I’ve ever seen. 

Drunk Irish guy punches other drunk Irish guy. This is the kind of scoop I come to Deadspin for.

This is the most Irish thing ever.

to be fair, st louis is an actual legit soccer hotbed from before it was cool.  now, good news there, bad news they invented white boy pay-to-play travel teams, but maybe they can overcome that and actually bring POC into the game.

Just my childless teacher 2 cents, so take with a grain of salt. If you (as a woman) define your life as a #boymom, it makes my life as said boy's teacher a bit difficult.  These boys, as middle schoolers, are very emotional that their teacher doesn't adore them with the intensity of their mom.  I genuinely like most…

Out of respect, all local Taco Bells have ordered their flags to be flown at half más

If we HAVE to stand for a specific song, and HAVE to put our hands on our hearts or risk getting jacked are we really free?

it would absolutely whip ass if this guy was eaten alive by a bear or something

Getting slammed head first into the ground does less brain damage than regularly watching FOX news