All the goddamn metal. Reflects the sun in ways so that even a 400 pound plumber’s taint could get sunburned.

The 49ers are not a San Francisco team anymore. Santa Clara is a town far away from San Francisco that has its own merits, but the 49ers are just another guy on the peninsula who says when asked that they live in SF, then when pressed as to which neighborhood, admit Santa Clara. Santa Clara is not San Francisco.

Swimmers Upset Swimmer Won’t Piss, In Pool

I say this genuinely, not as a hipster — how long have you read Deadspin?

In Munich on vacation, now. Watched the game at a local soccer pub which today was about 90% Americans. After the final whistle, some college kids started chanting “USA! USA!” I was embarrassed to hear that as a guest in another country, but I was proud that none of the adults in the bar picked it up and it died…

Finally, some criticism that has a chance of reaching the President.

Twas a bad day to be orange. 

Ah but for 8 seconds

I’ll go out on a limb here and say that we’ll see the first French rider since Fignon in 1983 to win the Tour

And I actually am ordained in real life, too, albeit from the Universal Life Church. See, a house mate wanted me to perform his wedding but before that happened, he OD’d on meth.

Yeah, tell me how conservatives don’t try to control people. Really, I need a laugh today.

That’s a soft call on incidental contact. 

VAR giveth and VAR taketh away — but Alyssa Naeher will haunt your dreams and Alex Morgan will sip tea over your grave. 

Since we’re generalizing to all cyclists and car drivers.... let’s remember that when a car driver does stupid shit to a cyclist, cyclist gets killed. When a cyclist does stupid shit to a car, maybe a dent.

Yeah, man, it’s almost like drivers are getting grumpy when bikes put themselves at risk, and bikers are getting grumpy when others are putting THEM at risk. So weird!

Marianne Williamsonoma (stupid kinja - sorry double)

On the other hand, until the professional era of union (and maybe still) top level rugby league required a fair bit more toughness.

Goddamn man. Just when I was getting bummed out by the excellently reported but thoroughly depressing and serious stories that appeared on here today, you have to go and pull out that headline and make it hard for me to not laugh in the office.

Why were they interviewing post-bender mark Zuckerberg about barstool sports