I have season tickets to two professional sports teams, MLB and NHL, and have had both sets of seats for over a decade. One of the greatest joys is kicking people out of my seats.

1. A player may not harm the Shield or, through inaction, allow the Shield to come to harm.

Eh. At 1-4 they’re still the best winless team in the league imo

That was a good analysis of pain and growth. As a parent, it’s difficult to walk that fine line you described — obviously, if your child is going to put his hand on a red-hot cooking element, you pull their hand away, but if they’re tottering on the edge of their bed reaching for something and a fall onto the ground…

Guy hitting .205 in High-A ball is worried about the wrong Mendoza.

Welcome to the lacrosse field, rookie. Rules are simple. 74 men in mesh shorts try to capture your egg with their nets. Any questions? No? Good. Just go sign up with Montana and Breshley at the Bud Light Lime stage and they’ll give you the organic pecan oil you’ll need for your uniform.

A face that was made for radio with a voice that was made for print.

It means you lost 9-3 to the Rams so sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up.

Rocket McFadden is totally voting Hillary.

People ask me if I’m Bob Seger. I ask if it means I’ll get free food and they say “No” and I say “Bob Seger’s dead” and drive off without my food.

I went to an orthopedic doctor about some knee pain. They prescribed a knee brace, I tried it on, and it felt a little tight. They said it would stretch over time, so I left with it. It didn’t stretch at all, so I went back and exchanged it the next day. Then they sent me a bill for the second knee brace. Another 87…

Why are you surprised they mourn the right way?

Holy crap, that is the most nuanced position I have heard from anybody. #Popovich2020! Make America have long term consistent success like the Spurs!!!

The Orioles will host the Red Sox for three more games this week

Carson Wentz will win Super Bowl MVP this year, fuck you.

As long as Diggs and Bradford stay healthy Minnesota

No way. "Strong home run slams all over the baseball yard" is one of the best things I've read this week.

K, what should we post about instead today?

Mike Trout has 45.9 fWAR from 2012 to today. The next closest position player has just over 2/3 that much, Josh Donaldson with 31.0. To put that in perspective, through five years Willie Mays had 31.1, Hank Aaron had 28.4, Mickey Mantle had 29.5, Alex Rodriguez had 35.6, Barry Bonds had 31.0, Ken Griffey Jr had 28.1,…