I think Mariah gives you some hints. She’s dating her backup dancer, who was in a relationship with another woman until very recently, and who’s likely to be at least partially motivated by the fact that this gets his name in the tabloids.

My favorite Jezebel post of 2016 is all of them.

2016 was a bastard of a year. He was greedy, stupid, bigoted, annoying, orange, tacky, gut-wrenching, tired,

I can’t believe that my ant question made the list, but I am very happy to have contributed some positivity to 2016 - and thanks Emma for the response!

I’m so happy the “Hey after fucking you” piece is on here because OMFG that tripped me out for fucking days. DAYS. I asked every guy I knew decently well if they did it and why and so many women if it had happened to them. So weirdly universal.

Well, I can’t really argue with that. We did, indeed, titty-fuck the lasagne this year. Titty-fucked it hard.

If 2016 were a four-word statement, it would be this:

The host of the New Year’S Eve from New York got trapped in an elevator?

My husband and I were trying to remember his name/who he is when we were talking about New Years Rockin Eve the other day. He said “that guy with all the game shows does it now” and I said “Drew Carey?” We figured it out and I found out that he calls shows like Idol “game shows.” Then I had to figure out the…

I don’t know if Ryan Seacrest has really done anything horrible to warrant my hatred towards him but part of me is sure he has.

I’m calling it first. Their celebrity portmanteau will be ‘Mariah’ in recognition of the distinct elements each bring to the proper relationship.

I’ve seen drunken frat boys in a bar fight while blowing a .30 with better head movement than Rousey.

*record scratch*

Who needs post-fight photos when one GIF told you everything you needed to know before the fight?

I also noticed that Ronda was getting punched in like every single pic, maybe becasue her eyes were always closed I guess. She probably should have punched back some.

Einstein’s definition of insanity: she changed nothing - coach, strategy - and expected a different outcome.

She’s always rubbed me the wrong way, but I was also kinda rooting for her and I’m sad to see her get so thoroughly taken apart again... I mean, it’s one thing to put up a good fight and just barely lose. But having your big comeback turn into the same kind of shellacking as before? I don’t know how you come back…

That... That’s not how you block a punch at all.

Nunes took home a $200,000 purse.

This fight was barely even long enough to masturbate to. 4/10.