A good alternative for when your town is too small to have a taxidermy shop?

Hi Emma. You know that on Fridays, we’re allowed to stay up late and get double dessert, right?

You should go! I went last summer for 10 days and loved it.

Thank you for being a friend.

If those less famous members were Mookie Wilson and Wade Phillips, I think you’ve already won.

My ex-girlfriend and I had a list. It was mostly just a fun way to engage in a little fantasy and we never took it seriously.

Yup. It’s amazing that this man, about whom very little nice can be said except that’s reputed to have a strong work ethic, has decided to totally wing this whole “leader of the free world” thing.

How about when he was asked the federal government’s three biggest roles. His answer:

“The media—“The Media”—has no choice but to cover these things.”

“Carmelo Wants to Play In The Olympics To Once Again Know What Winning Feels Like.”

Trump’s a big reader. Nobody loves books more than him.

While I agree that Trump’s incapable of feeling shame and his base doesn’t care, enough people are catching on to his M.O. that he can claim debate victory all he likes, people will still come out in droves to vote against him.

When he’s not watching film, dreaming of the Rapture or repressing naughty thoughts about Jake Gyllenhaal, this is all that’s going on inside that dumb, pretty head of his.

It doesn’t sound fun at first, but if porn has taught me anything, imagine how many bored housewives you could schtup on your delivery route.

#Lyin’Keyser

Depending how fast you could fly, I think there are ways to monetize it.

This is a compelling argument. And, I’m inclined to agree if we’re talking about which power provides the most utility.

Actually, I think your great grandma was Marge Schott.

Oh, I totally agree and actually was making the same point on Gawker just last night.

It’s a possibility and it makes me nervous.