I did not say that and they understandably weren’t thinking about it in 1978. Just stating the fact of that matter.

White rice, unlike brown, doesn’t trigger an IBS episode. I eat white for myself and everyone around me.

I didn’t even have the glass barrier.

I would love for GTFO to be a good option for me but I work in an office not designed by people concerned with my ability to GTFO in a hurry. I hope I will still make a valiant effort but suspect my chances aren’t good.

I had a job once where I was the first person anyone saw when they walked in. My “active shooter plan” was to hope death was at least immediate.

I’d never read anything about this guy before today and it still didn’t surprise me. He set off my creep alert through the TV screen on the three TV episodes I’ve ever seen him in.

I have a face similar to Hawn’s, as evidenced by the number of people who’ve told me “this is going to sound weird but... .” I have dark hair and brown eyes but after the second time I looked at a picture and saw we do indeed have the same eye and jaw shape. So I was looking forward to watching her age so I’d have an…

Every time I have to get through three seals to open anything, I curse that Tylenol motherfucker, whoever s/he was.

Well played, sir.

The kind of dorky tween (reminded me of myself) who knocked at my door last year and greeted me “trick or-omigosh your kitty is so cute!” got about half of my candy.

Some people like getting their houses egged.

I think my parents just trusted me to not eat anything that looked hinky. That probably wasn’t the wisest course of action but as no one was tampering with candy anyway, all’s well that ends well.

A friend and I were literally just bitching about how one shitty parent ruined trick or treating.

1. Loveless spinster with no property and old car.

Family lore has it that it was really hard to feed me solids until I was presented with foods I could pick up and feed myself, like chopped fruit/veggies and cereal.

Another assmonkey here on Jez responded to my comment about how I’d rather shave my head with a cheese grater than start a family in my 40s with “You still have time! You just need a good doctor!”

As a pretty independent person, I’m inclined to agree that men dislike not being needed, just merely wanted.

If I don’t have kids and it eventually turns out to be the wrong decision, the only person I’ve harmed is myself.

I held out for love. Now I’m a 42 year old spinster living in a rented house and driving a ten year old car.

Anyone who has kids for this reason alone is bound to end up with kids who don’t want to take care of them.