This bastard showed up on CBS’s morning show, where he brushed aside the fact that his running mate is a molester while showing horrified indignation at the level our country has sunk to when Democrats have a conversation about moving a primary.

I know it! Doesn’t it suck when your team is lousy and you’re talking to Browns fans? You can’t out-misery them!

That’s the further tragedy: I think it started with the firing of Marty Schottenheimer (who promptly went on to three division titles, seven playoff appearances and an AFC Championship game in a decade). Then came the theft of the team by Baltimore (who did to Cleveland what Indy had done to them), who promptly…

I have reached Maximum Sports Tragedy Saturation with these fuckers, and I’m not even a fan. It is one thing to be shitty for a minute, even a decade, and competitive for a year or two, but my holy Jesus. This team is like the movie Groundhog Day, except that every day, Bill Murray (Browns fans) gets hit by a train.…

While I wouldn’t completely disagree with you, especially considering the level of alcohol consumption, and even letting the fact that my friend actually lost them (he lives in Canada and you definitely don’t know him) go...I wouldn’t completely disagree with you.

Pretty sure Rudy will be running the new Department of Public (Stop-and-Frisk-Definitely) Works once President Trump forms it.

In the future Rudy will be arrested while switching out history books at the library with ones saying he personally rescued people from both buildings, leaping from one to the other to guide old ladies and blind children out of each one.

Got a bit of a twist on your “they’re always your seats” riff:

I hear what you’re saying, and I’ve heard the “Trump saying the N-word” rumors, but Ashley, let’s talk:

Meh. He would’ve gotten exactly none of the things socialists want. And is it too much to ask to nominate someone under the age of Jurrasic?

Come on man.

You jamokes should’ve rooted for the Indians in the playoffs like the late, pedantic, begrudging Deadspin post told you to.

Trump claiming the clearly ludicrous “every poll” reminds me of the Simpsons when Bart forges his report card to show all A-plusses.:

The meltdown he suffers when his fucktard antics make his support tank even further will be most enjoyable.

That’s because you’re a Goddamn helmet from Canada, eh!

Yes, but there was a lot less pussy-grabbing than I was led to believe there would be.

Do I really have to be the one to state the obvious? That she’s not talking about Kansas, but about how she imagines “Liberaltown, USA”. She’s projecting.

CBS old people officially kill the word “Diss” dead AF.

Anybody get a sniff count? I lost it around thirty but that was early.

Trump just gave a concise classy answer.