This is the face of a club promoter who’s not going to hit his quota tonight.

Kanter is Muslim; maybe he was trying to injure innocent Americans in the stands.

but did he swipe left or right?

“I support all my friends in everything they do.”

We won’t miss you.

Well, we know it’s not beer.

It’s Mississippi, they may have miscounted what floor he was on.

Son: Daddy, what’s the Europa League?

Kudos to LVG and his scouts for identifying up-and-coming talent.

If Jason Heyward is worth $185 million over 8 years, the U.S. Mint is going to have to introduce a new coin with Mike Trout’s face on one side and Bryce Harper’s on the other.

Why would you print that out and use it to wipe? They sell paper specifically for wiping your butt. Also, you need more fiber if it takes you an hour to poop.

That is straight up booster money. It was meant for a prostitute.

Someone needed to tell Washington beforehand that he had no hope of finding a cherry where he was looking.

Personally, I would have invested the nine extra dollars.

He just jumped to #1 on Jerry Jones draft board (and heart).

It’s an indictment of our society that the media didn’t think this was worth covering. Imagine if this was about dozens of white women? All lives clearly don’t matter.

[shits self]

Quick! Make sure all the women in the stands are safe!

Makes sense, if you put a rooster on your jersey...someone’s cock is bound to get him in trouble.