Toxicology results take a long time to process, especially if the dead person had a lot of different things in their bloodstream.

I think toxicology reports take a long time, but if this was a heart issue or something like that, they should know fairly quickly.

Reliving his past life as a dog?

The ump bet on the game and was trying to cover the plate so the runner missed it, nullifying the home run. He then would encourage one of the fielders to appeal, and call the runner out...from first? I guess? I can’t think of any other logical explanation.

So this is what Canadians get worked up about when they don’t have playoff hockey.

Whatever. This is still the best country to be an irritable dad with a law degree in.

My biggest bone of contention with this is just how goddamn boring these ideas are. The park? Picking fruit? We’re celebrating two lives pledging their love for one another, not spending a day with the grandkids. Jazz it up a little.

If your sheltered enough to think that strip clubs are integral to bachelor parties, you’re not fun enough to invite to an actual bachelor party.

See, I’vee never gotten this. In the half dozen or so times I’ve been to a strip club in my life it’s never once been “Awww man, we get to see some boobies! Then we’ll get really sexually excited by them!”

It’s not necessarily about strip clubs. It’s about spending an awesome night/weekend with your best friends without having to filter your conversations.

I’d criticize school staff for not seeing through the ruse, but in all fairness, nobody’s ever met a 30-year-old from South Sudan.

Thanks for the confessions, you’re all going to jail.

Let’s cut the guy some slack on his day off. It’s not easy being a St. Louis policeman.

AMEN. I’m so sick of people complaining about the things Philly fans do when other people do similar things.

I know it is a different time, but I think what is said on the ice, should stay on the ice. Should he have chosen a different word? Sure, but honestly it doesn’t matter at all. Too many sensitivity meters are running at 99%. A hockey rink is not your cubicle.

“This is Philly, this is not somewhere else in the NHL....Have some class.”

At least the fans’ wrist shots were more accurate than the Flyers were.

Since the Virginia Tech guys were slow to pick this up, they are calling it the Hokie Pokey.

Bark Messier

Fuck every one of you short motherfuckers whose normal-size umbrellas poke me in the fucking eye every time you pass by me, secure under your miniature shields. A raincoat would protect me from the rain, but not from the army of midgets (read: everyone shorter than me) determined to decorate their brollies with my…