[sees horrible injuries inflicted on collie]

WTF? He crosses into oncoming traffic and then stops in front of her, and barely gets touched!

Critical Massholes.

@BillSimmons

Then you come across a photo of what D-Mac actually looks like which can only be described as a hamster with glasses

I wouldn’t call them overalls as much as I’d call them around-somes.

It’s going to be a money pit. But $5k a year for 5 years is a touch hyperbolic. And like you said in your comment below, you’d have to spend a lot more to get something as interesting as this.

As a Houston resident, Dallas is a constant source of stress relief. It’s like having a brother you never really connected with as kids who later got convicted of selling child porn. We win by default. Our fly-ridden hell hole is modern, cultured and nuanced because, compared to Dallas, it is!

A Jay Gruden fat joke? Now that’s an offensive line that RGIII can really get behind.

Too soon to start speculating which QB they'll take in the first round next year?

Counterpoint: Fuck the goddamn Yankees in their puckered baboon assholes.

The weird thing is, if the Yankees had shown just a little professionalism themselves, they probably wouldn’t have lost 15-1.

Take them to school, dipshit.

I’ve been fascinated with Fiero’s ever since I was a little kid. Still kinda am.

Easy!

Goddammit, I KNEW I submitted Why Your Website Sucks too early this year :/

That hurt my brain and that email is DEFINITELY being used in the 2016 edition of Why Your Team Sucks: Houston Texans

On behalf of all Texans, please let me be the first to say:

Because it’s better than selling your soul and living in Dallas.

Between J.J. Watt, Mike Trout and Jordan Spieth, has there ever been a better time (since 1950) to be an old, white, sports fan?