Nothing says classy like an adulterer who claims to be a devout Catholic, becomes a third wife and then accepts a Vatican ambassadorship from a guy who was taped discussing his sexual assault hobby. Classy.

36! Wow I did not think this lady was my age

She grew up in a castle her dad bought at a bankruptcy auction after it went decades in disrepair, and turned into a below-middling hotel/event space. This isn’t some grand upbringing, well, not as grand as she’d like you to think and probably told everyone at school, and does indeed put her in the column of…

Wrinkles on your face used to make you look old. Now that frozen, shiney, puckery face makes you look old. Too much work too soon has made her look like someone trying to look 36.

University of West Los Angeles School of Law?! Lols!

Fair enough on the debt. I guess it’s not surprising she comes from money given that work profile. But, yeah, I don’t see much in taxes being paid on that economic activity.

For someone that young (she’s only 36), she is WAAAAAAAY overdoing it on the fillers. It’ll kill the remaining natural youth of her face. You don’t usually do fillers (at least that volume of them) until later (40s/50s) and you don’t overdo it—she’s overfilled and now she looks like Anonymous Bleach Blonde Hollywood…

Harsh makeup and fake blonde hair. I’d have guessed she was ten years older than she is.

But they could have deep third-wife to third-wife discussions.

Okay, I’m not normally one to body shame someone, but I was honestly surprised to find out she’s only 36. Is it just that she’s being aged up by standing next to her husband? Or that she’s definitely got that uncanny valley look of someone who’s had some work/injectables? Or what?

“No company wants the boozing broad who was recently arrested for disorderly conduct (or as some describe it — “charged with being annoying”) to champion its brand.”

Which makes her a...

Looking at what she did before, she’s got a BA from Pepperdine, a JD from an unaccredited law school, a short list of acting jobs, a production company, and a self-published book that wasn’t exactly a hit. That sounds like a ton of debt and not that much income. I kind of doubt that up to this point, she’s paid more…

Hey—let’s not drag TJMaxx into this.

Louise has kind of a Real Housewife face.

For someone who married into wealth and US citizenship, she’s awfully clear about how much she personally sacrifices for the country. I thought people didn’t get automatic visas and citizenship from marriage anymore. Silly me, that must be for poor folks.

I mean, you’re supposed to sort of find him attractive in spite of his looks, I think? But that Cormoran’s just conventionally attractive.

I loooooove (it’s a lot of O’s worth) the Cormoran Strike novels, even if the last one has left me extremely angry. But no way is Cormoran Strike that attractive.

It was also the syphilis.

I’m seeing Tywin Lannister but with mutton chops.