And he definitely did not shit his pants on the course, no matter what the pictures show...

Doubleplus good!

At least not without sharting.

Right? Which is hilarious, because everyone who’s actually played golf with him says he’s terrible and openly cheats.

PREACH.

I tend to agree. They have done a terrible thing to America. They need to be shamed for it. A we saw in the week after the election, they never ceased holding their racist and nativist views, but they had learned to shut up about them in decent company.

If they “will never be won over,” then I see no harm in ridiculing them as they’ve earned in such a well-deserved manner.

“Also, our Glorious Leader had yet another perfect game of golf yesterday, finishing with several holes-in-one. I mean, ALL holes-in-one. All of them.”

But we’ve always been at war with Eurasia

I’m clinging to the hope that someone (or lots of questions) at one of these crashed weddings starts calling out pointed questions to him — pointed, EMBARRASSING questions.

Tangentially related: Someone please get this motherfucker some khakis that don’t make him look like he’s wearing incontinence briefs. What’s that? Oh.

And in place of a gift or money (or even something of slight value which costs his resort almost no money like a spa pass or room service) he gives a signed glossy 8x10, which he will write off on his taxes for six-figures.

Yeah, I think the bride/groom made an informed decision, but I feel bad for the innocent bystanders. Can you imagine, you’re already dreading going to your shitty conservative cousin’s wedding because when her Facebook isn’t MAGA it’s a fucking wedding countdown clock, and all you’re looking forward to is the open…

He was very into the bride.

If he crashed a random wedding that was not on one of his properties, he would run a good 60% chance, at least, of being asked to kindly fuck off. These appearances are to make him feel good, not the bridal couple.

“If he is on-site for your big day, he will likely stop in & congratulate the happy couple. He may take some photos with you but we ask you and your guests to be respectful of his time & privacy.”

You just know he tosses tic tacks instead of rice.

OH YEAH!

If you decide on a Trump property for your wedding, you know what to expect right? There is a non-insignificant chance he may come. Is that a selling feature? Not like NJ or Fl are bereft of golf club banquet rooms. Are you hoping he comes? Was this the only one that worked out for your plans and you’re hoping he…

Having a child makes you unsuitable for the sex trade? I’m glad it saved her but Lol.