Maybe we could bring back dating without the sex. Dating as getting to know someone, in public spaces, without having to trust them much yet. It would take the pressure off both sexes and give people time to get to know each other before having to take each other seriously.

i feel like i’d get stressed — one time i was high at a giant crawfish boil in new orleans and i got so scared of all the eating work that i just ate ears of corn

I’m not stoned and I’m considering stopping at the store for white cake mix, frosting, sprinkles, and ice cream to try that shit out. My bday is this week, so that means cake every day...right?

I miss Pinkham.

Now that I think about it, I can’t think of one time I’ve been at a Waffle House not not been drunk... Maybe once, but I was SO HIGH so that probably doesn’t count either. I remember my boyfriend told our waitress that we would “Start off with an order of hashbrowns, smothered, chunked, and diced...” and this girl I…

Please, like anyone that has ever been in a Waffle House wasn’t already blacked out.

I found this other photo of the employees:

She knows that if she’s in the room when a same-sex marriage is performed, she is AUTOMATICALLY married to the nearest lady, right?

We are a “look at me” society not a “get shit done” society. Plus Washington is Hollywood for ugly people.

I would never hit a woman, but can I pay another woman to hit this one? Or is that morally grey?

“a devastating principled loss for us all and a very personal loss for Kim Davis.”

Also, this...

This is great!

“he also allegedly claimed to be Jesus Christ and told law enforcement, “You picked the wrong person to mess with. I will [expletive] your world up.””

SEE! Damn liberals, this is -proof positive- that mental health status should *NEVER* factor in to one’s ability to buy firearms.

When he was arrested, the police report said, Stockert claimed that his parents were John F. Kennedy and Marilyn Monroe and that he came to the capital to announce his campaign for president.

So, JFK and Marilyn Monroe had a baby. His name is Jesus Christ, he’s running for president, and he’s willing to dognap the first pets to get his way.

I hear there’s a bonkers family in Texas that is free now that the 15-year standoff is over.

I love this bit so much. He also talks about how a woman’s #1 fear on a date is being murdered, where a dude’s #1 fear is being rejected. Oh, boohoo!

“the idea that gun owners are extremely responsible and competent individuals”