I am helping at my daughter's school with the hot lunch, all I know is each lunch must have a protein.

I take it you never saw the complete gold that was Tom Hiddleston and Chris Hemsworth faceblended?

Here you go - you might need to prepare your naughty bits.

Uh, hi, I was told to come here with my faceblending request. Yes, I'd like to see a mash-up of Joe Manganiello and Jason Momoa. Please and thank you.

Isn't this essentially a photo of Jessica Alba with blonde hair?

The fact that something like this is needed is depressing, but thanks, gentlemen, for restoring a bit of my faith in humanity.

Perhaps if this nail polish enables thousands and thousands of women to detect these drugs in their drinks, people will stop denying that rape culture exists.

We love you, too! I may or may not be drunk at a chain restaurant right now.

Welcome to Jezebel, I will be your guide.

In the backward cluserfuck that is Oklahoma, there is no matter more important than protecting their precious teenage flowers from the siren song of slutdom.

Or you can kick out creepy control freaks and save yourself time and money. Do you think it's okay to leave someone who calls teenage girls skanks in charge at any school?

Like a houseguest. Marvelous at first and full of possibilities, but if left unsupervised for too long, they can be a real pain.

"The figure places Spacey into an elite club of network stars who make over $500,000 per episode. According to TV Guide, it includes Mark Harmon for "NCIS" ($525,000), "Two and a Half Men" actors Jon Cryer ($650,000) and Ashton Kutcher ($750,000), and "The Big Bang Theory" stars Jim Parsons, Kaley Cuoco, and Johnny…

I actually LOVE it, and I am usually a complete asshole about Southern accents. It's so bad it's delightful.

That syrupy fake Southern accent nets the big bucks: according to TV Guide (and via Business Insider), Kevin Spacey clears $500,000 per episode for his work on House of Cards. That includes his cut as a producer, making him one of the highest-paid TV actors out there.

"Her take is, 'Hey, he could do worse,'" the pal says