“I know what you’re thinking, son... But no. We were really into anal play when the Giants beat the Bills.”

He wasn’t eligible, as it’s not a posthumous award.

This woman is a true hero. I should celebrate by sending her pictures of my genitals, right?

Ciara already tried a Future upgrade; it didn’t take.

If she marries Rob, will it be BlacKardashian?

I volunteer as tribute. I love Guy Fieri and I will not be kink shamed by you vanilla flavorless weirdos.

Should have forgone the remodel and spent the 12 k on sex with someone that knows how to pretend places are diners.

Your argument is extremely contrived. It’s embarrassing for Kanye because it means he’s not in the position of “Power” that he claims he was in, not only that but he’s saying he “owns” Wiz Khalifa’s kid. Give me a break. Fingers in the butt from Amber to Kanye mean that she was in control. Nothing more nothing less...

I always think it’s funny when my friends do this. When they’re dating the guy, he’s the BEST in bed! He has the biggest dick, makes them orgasm a gazillion times a night, etc. Once they break up though, all of the sudden his penis size was barely average and the only time she came was when she pulled out the vibrator…

I’m just impressed you understood his comment enough to respond. I’m still trying to figure out which parts are autocorrect and which parts are the failures of our education system.

Usually I’m not impressed when people say, I can handle driving in winter weather because I’m from X wintry place, because the roads are icier and more dangerous in the south when they get a little bit of snow vs snowier places that have the infrastructure to cope. But... if you can drive with these people, you can…

Cook me in a plastic bag

This season was excellent, maybe even better than season 1. I really wanted it to win and I was SHOCKED that Kirsten Dunst lost.

0:01 for the cat.

I found her CDL Instructor.....

Hoooooooooooooouuuuuuuuu, brother.

“the woman card, an all-powerful card worth 78.3% of a regular card”

Awesome turn of phrase.
(awful that it’s true. :()

Kate Knibbs thinks Hillary is referring to the weapon aspect of the Manhattan project rather than mobilizing the scientific community to solve a difficult socio-political problem with scientific and technological advancement. The fuck?

who is David Bowie in this scenario