The biggest tell that the actor who plays Nate is Australian is that he has no fucking clue what to do with a football in his hands.

Thank you for remaining laser-focused on sports. 

Look at these lightweights.  Only frisbee dog can handle the dank buds.

10/10. Would pet. 

No, because he has a 9-10 year life expectancy.  The sacrifice would simply be too much for such a short reign.  Now, if it were a tortoise of some kind, then we’d be in business

unfortunately if we stopped using things from companies who do bad things is that we would be naked, homeless, starving, diseased, and bored

Added to that is the culture of Maestros, prima donnas, etc. Not all superstar conductors and soloists are terrible people, of course, but the fawning attention, deference, and power definitely has the potential to corrupt. It’s why “prima donna” became a term for someone acting like a self-important ass.

Look! It’s Enrico Pollazzo!

Hackneyed and empty? Given that we know white supremacist groups have infiltrated the military and police forces around the country, and are using that power to slaughter black and brown people with complete impunity, it seems like they’re revealing nothing but the truth.

Surprised that it wasn’t one of Clemens’ kids: Kody, Kasper, Kooper, KKK, Karmen, Korias, K’tucky or Kor. 

James Shields was a clubhouse leader and ate up a lot of innings, so it’s really impossible to say who won the White Sox/Padres trade.  Impossible

Yeah, I was very confused by that framing being used in this article. All I ever hear about Booksmart is how it was great but did poorly.

Ok but have you drank your grandon’s pee?

The airborne delivered bear commando program was suspended by the CIA in ‘15; I call bullshit.

a bear apparently fell onto the hood of a deputy patrol car and smashed through the car’s windshield, causing it to swerve into an embankment

I’m still waiting on a mountain for my gas rebate. The WiFi is getting spotty

I always get mistaken for that other guy. That’s why I stopped walking on water just to amuse the kids at the public pool.

C’mon they could have fit in some more platitudes in there. How about:

Speaking as a southerner, those are not southern accents and are the thing I find most offensive about the trailer. It is Republicans who say those are Republicans being hunted, hence their outrage. 

Can The Root please start a section called: The Dumbest Shit You’ll Hear From White People This Week? I mean this may make into the dumbass hall of fame. I mean did these unseasoned, latte drinking, yoga pants wearing, Kid Rock listening MAGA chuds partake in this thinking this was supposed to be a pleasant…