They should take this opportunity to change their name to:

we are not aware of a single complaint from anyone attending our games that they were expecting to see the parachute team and not a professional hockey game.

Trump: ...dandelions. The whole thing was dandelions. A big gust of wind blew them all away. A tremendous story, right? [Pats leg] Say hi to your mother for me.
Blank: [To himself] If I don’t move, he won’t see me sitting here.
Trump: Arthur...
Blank: Dammit.
Trump: You have a fantastic team.
Blank: I... what?
Trump: I…

Blank: “What brings you here, Mr. President?”

He was definitely asking Blank about Megatron’s Butthole, how it worked, and if there was a model he could put his dick into.

“since you won more quarters doesn’t that count as winning the electoral game? That’s better than the popular game.”

*snap* *snap* *snap* loses fingers to frostbite

Thunder Bay is in Ontario

+ 5, 6, 7, 8...

the most extreme act by anyone was involved was us having to use our Getty Premium subscription to use the photo of the city skyline in our post.

Are we surprised the Jets and the Sharks are beefing? Time for a musical number to solve everything.

That’s a terrible uniform for a Bat Dog. Poor little dude doesn’t even have a utility belt.

RIP Derby. We will miss your wisdom, good boy.

i with they always had the blonde ready but they always have to make it.

Is this going to have the same ridiculous amount of caffeine as the blonde roast coffee? If I recall correctly, a venti of that stuff had almost 500mg, or enough to kill a horse (citation needed).

“This is my regret face.”

Paying the bills. Those Cohen Bros. gigs can’t do all the heavy lifting.

collecting a paycheck. *shrugs*

I am a huge, huge original-recipe “Roseanne” fan. I have seen every episode like 50 times. You could not pay me to watch this revival, especially with the Trumpish BS. 

Why did WWE have an easily-accessible grappling hook backstage?