No way you wrote this with a straight face. Creative ass mofo. 

SOROS ORDERED OBLOWZO TO FORCE MY GUNS TO GAY MARRY DURING JADE HELM

Buzz (the sound a fly makes); Aldrin (one of the first men to walk on the moon (i.e. a white surface))

In the outer boroughs (Queens, Bronx and Brooklyn specifically) in NY the Latinas have learned some of that side eye and combined with the yelling it is absolutely terrifying and it’s a miracle I’m still alive.

To honor Pence’s wish that America returns to 1955, I humbly submit: Marty McFly.

#FACTS. Plus as a Black man who’s dated Black women AND Latinas, I’ve observed that what a pissed off/fed up Latina accomplishes with a lot of loud (often high pitched) yelling and screaming, a Black woman gets done with a dirty look & a monosyllabic expression: "Umph"

Black women are face ninjas. They can cut your heart out without ever saying a word.

It’s kind of like people who feel the need to forgive someone who murdered a loved one. They’re not doing it for the murderer. They’re doing it for themselves. Because they believe wanting that person dead is somehow a stain on their own souls. And they want to believe they are good people. Forgiving makes them feel…

A running, driving 35 year old convertible in decent shape with good parts availability for $2,750? Absolutely a nice price.

“And it’s not just short sellers, oil/gas companies and legacy car makers.”

restless, quirky Gatsby Welles

Brother Harriot stay showing love for this country. Y’all don’t appreciate it.

February 25, 2021: PRESS RELEASE. “Due to lingering health effects caused by a COVID-19 infection, President Biden is stepping down immediately as President. Kamala Harris will be sworn in as the first female President in a ceremony in the Oval Office at noon tomorrow.”

It is what it is.

I feel sorta bad for starring this, but if I’m being honest...

This car reminds me of a story from a time I was traveling in Perth, Western Australia. I was at my hotel, and I came down to the lobby, and I saw this guy butt naked, chasing a kangaroo around the courtyard area in front of the lobby. No one seemed to mind, or care that there was a completely naked man chasing a…

My uncle bought one new.  It caught fire during his morning commute one day and was totaled.  

This is exactly the correct ownership scenario for this car. See also: boats, timeshares.

My coworker had one of these, in this exact trim/color/transmission that he owned since new. Thing was amazing, but to be 100% honest, it regularly had to go to the shop every few months few a $1,000+ repair. Yeah, it had over 200k miles, so I guess you can’t expect anything to be perfect then. But after owning it for…

This is the sort of car you want a friend who is willing to loan it to you whenever you want and has a big budget to keep it running to own. I’m going very marginal nice price but needs a little money off at least to get the wheels refinished.