I was thinking of those at first, but honestly, those robo-spiders seem kinda too tiny and spindly to do any serious damage to a Czech hedgehog.

Kashyyk humidity, man. No Wookiee’s hair is gonna get that Pantene bounce when it goes over 80%. :P

Honestly, that was the most Trumpian review of a video game I’ve read. By the time you finish the third paragraph, it digresses away from the game and into a psychological damnation of the reviewer himself.

I was at first imagining Tachikomas from Ghost In The Shell, but after reading the whole thing, it’s more like those spider-bots from Runaway.

I wish I could say Donald Trump is the dumbest motherfucker in America.

I was thinking more like ‘Je.

Unless, you know, ‘Ye thinks he is Jesus. Then all that shit makes more sense.

And what does his old ass mean by only marijuana, anyhow? Cigarettes and alcohol are major contributors to addictive behavior, even worse sometimes. Hell, even the government’s drug abuse website don’t believe the marijuana-as-gateway-drug hype too much:

Ya, see, that’s it right there: White Privilege is the most addictive drug on this planet. You grow up on it, and you definitely don’t want to give it up, no matter how much pain and suffering other people go to to supply it to you. Whole countries, families, societies have been destroyed to feed that addiction.

This scene isn’t even the most infuriating nonsense of the Special Editions. I would say worse offenders are:

That hat is the physical manifestation of “How can we make a symbol of dimwitted racist assholes make its wearer exponentially more so?”

These Chevy ads are the reality shows of advertisement: low concept creativity combined with cheap production values and writing. Just act enthused and try to mention the product while you’re at it.

SPOILER ALERT: Guy-Am-I loses 50 pounds from trichinosis from eating green ham.

That’s not necessarily out of the realm of possibilities.

Now that’s an excellent ending and a great post-credits scene!

When there are enough white people fatalities, Trump will declare a national crisis and get the Feds involved. You wait and see.

I don’t know, man. Why don’t you find out for yourself at their website:

Like this one?

Excellent. You have trained your padawan well.

Actually, fantasizing about John Wayne saying the following...