I ain’t naming names either, but why couldn’t it be some terrapin-looking, possibly Moscow-obeying stooge that sheds his mortal coil? Turtles don’t live forever, do they?

I, too, am not scared what that idiot spews out. We all know the kind of low-level jag off he is.

We can all pretty much know by now what color hat they wear, who they vote for, and what news channel they watch just by the sheer hypocrisy of their statements.

What itches my mental pickle is: Where do you store said poop towel in between uses? Do you put it on its own peg? Next to the bath towel? On the counter? And how often do you change it out? Do you share poop towel with all users of the bidet/washlet? Does it need to be a dark color or is a light color preferable to…

You’d be amazed how the easily the principles of the convenienced fall by the wayside when the slightest breeze of fear or avarice blows against their skin.

I usually cook frozen things 75% in the microwave, then finish it off in the toaster oven for the remaining 25% to get that crispy oven texture and melt. So if something takes 20 minutes in a conventional and 5 in a microwave, I nuke it for 4 and then oven bake it another 4-5. Nice balance of convenience and quality.

The same with anything of mass communicative properties: art, books, telephones, television, video, music, radio. At what point did any media not derail because of the oft self-absorbed quality of human nature?

Well, that’s the thing, isn’t it? No reference to violated laws or precedents, just pure accusation based on projection. No legal response does that.

Yeah, man. I actually assumed it was some kind of internet diploma mill created on a dare and named after an American sexual euphemism.

IKR? My id hasn’t been this amused since that poor schmuck of a passenger fell of the stern and ricocheted off the propeller before falling to his freezing watery death in Titanic.

That certainly is a huge orgy of evidence to uncover within a few days’ time, isn’t it?

Is that the brand he’s wearing? Shit, I thought it was Derelicte’s 2020 Spring Preview line.

Nah, man. You forget that he drives a tank head-on into a flying Russian Hind assault copter and then saves the day. And lives. Truly a patriotic moment.

Well, Darnold deserves what he gets for hiring these organs on free agent status.

Thomas S. is another in a long line of self-excusing dipshits who make exceptions the rule at their own convenience. Probably believes in state’s rights for outlawing abortions, too.

A little bit of both? Oddly enough, the Dixie Chicks are on her latest album.

Excuse you, but this is Deadspin, not the Hallmark Channel.

Ever watch Zoolander?

Isn’t that the updated slang for Dropping the Thomas?

Are you implying that thousands of Pats fans who probably support Trump could somehow be in denial of the shitty realities of what their team and president actually do and stand for?