So, wait...is the duck-puddle a permanent fixture of the dash now? How do you clean up melted waterfowl?

I dunno...a lot of crossovers are pretty meh.

The Hyundai XZ-whatever-it-is-I’ve-already-forgotten looks like one of those generic background cars in video games and cartoons that are deliberately non-specific.

I was driving through the city the other day and suddenly bird poo splattered all across my windshield. Like, it could not have been a more accurate hit if it had been planned. And the car was moving, so that bird must have had fantastic aim.

Dear Kristen: THANK YOU for finally speaking up about this! That darned triangle has been bugging me all my life.

How was this not the obvious answer?

The bird one is funny in a dark sort of way. The cat one is just cruel.

Or safe, or efficient, or useful, or attractive, or any of the other things a car should be...

There are certain vehicles that look good in pink. This is not one of them.

I have always despised the H2 with a burning hatred reserved for few other things in life (Minions, chrome spinners, Donald Trump, that earsplitting noise that smoke detectors make, what happens to cheese if you put it in the microwave...). I really wish there was video of those Hummers being crushed by their own…

Wait, has Tesla officially said that 50 people equals a free car? Or is there a limit on how many discounts you can get on a single Roadster?

Yeah, Celebrity Brain Crash wasn’t brilliant, although it eventually became funny just for the morbid curiosity of wondering exactly how the next guest would meet their improbable demise. The American was also only funny for one or two episodes - after that he was just boring and irritating.

It does look better than the first season, but sadly, no matter how good it is, this season will probably only be remembered for Hammond’s crash.

Regular Car Reviews is an acquired taste, but I’ve acquired it.

This car was also in Jurassic Park III (for a few seconds, anyway). I’ll confess, I thought it was an Alero until I looked it up.

Me too. “New Oldsmobile” always sounded like a contradiction in terms.

Is that a DeLorean?

Call me nuts, but I actually loved the look of the 2006 Pony Package. It’s one of the few recent Mustangs that, to me at least, really evokes the ambience of the original ‘64 1/2, ‘65 and ‘66 models. While my dream is to own a classic ‘Stang, if I couldn’t get one I’d happily take a Pony Package as a consolation prize.

I thought this meme was finally dead. Evidently, I thought wrong.

Something something “Ford” something something “not a Mustang, but...” something something “pools sometimes have people in them” something something...