Would his interviews be hot off the press?

Get the fuck away from me, Roger.

Goodell is the only one wishing for another 9/11 today.

Bottom Line: Rap videos lose all perspective without the sound.

It's hard to argue otherwise given that the whole incident took place behind closed doors.

I don't like it, but at the same time everything that's available to the public does likely leave premeditated murder off the table. The evidence at hand doesn't prove beyond a shadow of a doubt (I don't know how South Africa's justice system works, but it wouldn't have flown here) that it was premeditated.

*Roger Goodell furiously searches online for open jobs in the South African Football League Commissioner's Office*

First they came for the wife-beaters, and I said nothing, because I was not a wife-beater.

I was gonna say it's amazing how tone deaf these people come across, but then I realized that it makes sense for billionaires to be out of touch.

Jerry Richardson, owner of the Panthers and employer of one Greg Hardy.

In or about December 2013, while discussing Castergine's bonus, Wilpon told Castergine that she should tell her boyfriend that when she gets a ring, she will make more money and get a bigger bonus.

Done.

1. If jet fuel doesn't burn hot enough to melt steel, then how di-

How far can you punt a question?

Now you guys are just fucking with me.

The most disgusting part of this is that Michael Gearon still thinks it's okay to own minorities.

You can tell he identifies really strongly with his team, because he also doesn't have a point.

Never thought I'd find a Wolverine who needed a timeout more than Chris Webber.