"What's this I hear about the Hawks and a little African?" - Spud Webb

*is black and qualified to comment*

Still unclear how the victim leaving the country forced them to drop the resisting arrest charge. The SWAT team that had to use a taser on him didn't leave the country too, presumably.

What I don't get is why anything would be different now that they've seen this "new" video. They had already seen Rice's girlfriend out cold. How the hell did they think she got like that in the first place?

Berman: When Ray Rice entered the elevator, he swung at Janey and she went back-back-back-back-back-back-back to the wall.

Business in the front, won't remember his 10th birthday party in the back.

Ray Lewis: There is no comparison of me and Ray Rice. I'm far more similar to Aaron Hernandez.

The scary thing is the video we all saw before (of him dragging her out of an elevator unconscious) was not enough for people to be convinced he deserved more punishment.

Welcome to Kinja, Mr. Goodell.

/wanking motion.

I'm sorry, but I have to wholeheartedly disagree with this article. I am supposed to stop supporting a team I grew up loving because the asshole higher ups made and a completely terrible decision? I have to choose between being a feminist and supporting a team whose fan ship is huge part of my identity? Of course Ray…

not sure where to put this so I'll put it here...

Just flipped the game on. The Niners new home stadium looks an awful lot like the Cowboys' Stadium.

The only one not afraid of balls in that stadium is Michael Sam

So how does that make him any different than anyone else who inhabits that stadium?

invoking Hitler automatically wins an argument

In all fairness, the new rule about getting out to attempt to walk on the track only applies to drivers.

If it wasn't for the potential damage to those nicely painted cars, I'd be all for letting Darwin work his magic.