While I wholeheartedly endorse your condemnation of the vile feline genus, I regret to say that there are a few bad apples among the canine crowd. A house down the street from us has a German Shepherd that is an incorrigible kleptomaniac. We have had 7 of our dog’s Kong toys taken, as well as a food dish, and our…

You are so tragically right. I have three kids...THREE! That means three wives, dead, in their misguided efforts to wean our children. Oh, if only they knew that once you start lactating, you can never stop! THE MADNESS MUST END!

I have always fervently believed that anyone able to tolerate the same, infuriating jingle for hours on end, not to mention the screaming children, is either a psychopath or a pedophile. Or both. Regardless, absolutely not someone I desire to purchase a vehicle from.
Also related: A few years back I was traveling with…

Thank you! It took 10 months to find (and even then it was a lucky text from a buddy)! And if I ever hit a racoon and need a new bumper, M-sport kit it is. But, alas, my wife does not share my automotive enthusiasm and sees no point in ‘frivolous’ expenses like replacing perfectly functional bumpers or a JB4 tune.

I do oh-so-dearly love my 5-wagon and find it most alluring, but the V-90 wins in the looks department.

He has you all fooled. His sphincter was so tight it was immediately compressed. You’ll know the truth when he starts sporting new jewelry next week with “Chocolate diamonds”.

I was too! Really I was hoping one other forlorn soul had the same twisted sense of humor I do, and inasmuch would continue the Monty Python references with this:

Don’t misunderstand, your English is excellent! But I was basing my assumption of your country of origin more on your “gave civilization to all mankind and womankind too” comment. A very British sentiment that I didn’t realize the Italians shared.

And this serves as a perfect illustration as to why we still annually celebrate our emancipation from you stodgy, stuffy, silly English kniggits. Go and boil your bottoms.

(The irony of me using Monty Python to insult Englishness is not lost on me.)

Missus and I went on a two week vacation to Germany a few years back. I never saw an unmarked car either...until I got pulled over by one. Non-descript blue Opel sedan, two women in street clothes, absolutely nothing that would make you think ‘cops’.