Or draw squares in the dirt like we did. 

“Antonio needs help, from his agent, from his manager, from his loved ones, from his doctors, and he’s not getting it.”

ISU fan/Ames resident here. Pollard’s reaction Tuesday...

Really, though, that counts as nose to the grindstone for him.

Am I the only one who thinks Eli's mental state in 15 years or so will be utterly sad? He's dumb to begin with, and all that abuse...

He should just drop the pretense and become a callboy, already.

You’re new to humans, aren’t you?

“ESPN reported that the 37-year-old didn’t want the surgery, but it’ll be the doctors’ decision to make.”

This confirms my cynical opinion that I’ll never be rich because I’m not amoral enough.

She can expect a call from Martina Navratilova to be her doubles partner at Wimbledon.

Ten miles long? I’d LOVE to know the level of precision that thing is built to, in order for a sled travelling that fast to not tear itself apart because of a slight bend in the rail.

Namely, to take the ball out of his glove voluntarily.

And that, children, is why you hustle down the line.

Now, as to whether anyone will HAVE him...

I hate myself that I starred this, but I did it anyway.

First question Greg Maddux would ask every season would be, “Who’s my catcher?” Because Javier Lopez never could keep up with him mentally.

As a recent job-hunter, you forgot to mention, “Oh, and we’ll ask for your resume, but then force you to fill out your employment/education history online, anyway.”

Objection, facts not in evidence.

Hire me for your assistant, and I’ll take all the day-to-day grunt work off your shoulders.

The first rule of nicknames: Never let the taunters know the nickname hurts.