This car’s exterior looks like it was designed with a graphics card from a SNES. 

It’s easy to tell which team’s announcers were which during the video clip. 

You people have fun with those, I’ll be over here eating my heart out with envy. #brokeasajoke

That reminds me, I need to flip the scallops...

Sorry, we need to make it as big as possible. Make it swell, even.

A lawyer who represents him/herself has a fool for a client.

“That man was owed millions of dollars and wanted to buy a house.”

While still shafting the drivers who do the actual work.

I want Ray Ratto to write my obituary.

+1 Lady Bic(tm)

Take your st-arrrrrrrrghh...

Pancakes? Bad? Megan, why do you hate fun?

+2131

Bobby Bonilla will serve as his agent.

Fatty here. Can confirm.

It is a tale told by an idiot a gearhead, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

Dude looks like he should be playing in a Sunday YMCA league.

+1 peace in our time.

The “Like if you think he should go to jail” is proof of their own thirst for Twitter validation.

My wife and I recently went furniture shopping. I have a very good mattress/springs, but when she lay down on the “premium” model at the store, she looked as if she’d just seen God.