At this point, the only question is which Gruden brother gets canned first. I wonder what odds Vegas is giving?

I read the “Bah Gawd” in wrestling announcer Jim Ross’s voice. 

The unkillable necromorph in that game is, hands-down, the scariest thing I’ve ever seen in any entertainment media. Freaking terrifying being trapped in a room with that thing.

Dry humor -- you has it.

This is why I’m glad I only have one child. And now that I say that, she’ll want to take 6 friends camping...

Plain white t-shirts are no longer an option for me because of sweat stains. I don’t want to inflict that shit on anyone.

I love this gif.

Fire them all and let the players call their own plays. Couldn’t be any worse.

Now if we can just get the “on/off” function of the headlights removed altogether. Car is on, headlights are on. Car is off, lights are off. It would have saved me recharging my wife’s car’s battery last winter thanks to me nudging the on/off knob by accident.

When I pay four-fifty for a drink, there are usually more decimal places involved.

Jameis Winston is JaMarcus Russell with longevity.

This 48 year old feels totally generation-gapped now.

Change your name to Jamarcus Russell.

Well, there’s your problem--mixing English and metric measurements on the same sign. Poor driver was trying to math.

Love this description. 

As a first-year newlywed, congratulations to you and your wife. May you have a lifetime of love and happiness.

God damn it.

I had a groove worn in the spine where the Star Wars toys’ page was located.

This.

Drew just wrote “Game over” in his notepad.