You know, the AV Club turned into a political clickbait site so gradually, I didn't even notice.

Sure as shit better than a Green Day concert

Affirmative.

Cara Delevigne poses for trading card photo.

I've had a shit week, so I would absolutely pound several beers and play Hydro Thunder for like 4 hours.

I especially like the jumbo bottles of You'll Just Piss This Out Anyway for $54.99

That's a Papa Roach song? Ewwww gross.

"Galdurn Jesus-hatin' Hollyweird Zionist libturds!"

Affirmative.

BRO THAT PLACE IS THE SHIT THEY HAVE QUARTER DRAFT NIGHT JUST LIKE IN COLLEGE HA HA HA I GET DRUNK AND PLAY CRAZY TAXI

It's in your nature to destroy yourselves.

Yet Another Goddamned Show About Mutants Or Some Shit

Affirmative.

I'm dead right now.

Ewww, 2003.

Irrelevant Radio Rock Bro Slap Fight Continues

Looks cheap and shitty.

Affirmative.

*shits*

Then you try talking to him again and he repeats the same story.