Doesn't it already do that?

What a hag!

Don't let that article thumbnail fool you, she's just ripping a big one in the elevator.

LOCAL MOMS HATE HER

That guy named after ass-fizz?

But dude, it's cold outside, therefore climate change is a lie.

You go ahead and do that, guys.

Empires Of The Deep looks like something not even SyFy would touch.

Pictured (standing in for Mr. Kid Rock): a river hobo

TONIGHT: Guy Fieri devours a spicy hot Jack Daniel's-roasted Asian breakfast burrito of solemnity atop a mass grave in Cambodia.

Keep it light, Top Chef. For fuck's sake.

Extremely corrosive saliva

Today’s best deals: junk you'll use once before it breaks

They're park guns designed to work on hosts only. Shoot a host and its body/programming allows for a hole to be blown through the shoulder. Shoot a guest and it's like an empty paintball pellet – it might hurt, but no serious damage.

You tell him!

Samurai World looked like the absolute shit.

*poots*

Affirmative

Gesundheit

Dracula Depantsed