Yeah, let’s stop sitting indoors and staring at screens, get out of the house and go to a building where you pay twelve bucks to sit indoors and stare at a screen. But now you’re surrounded by strangers, you can’t pause the movie, and all the food costs $30. This is better, we promise.

In NYC, they actually checked my vaccine card. I was very comforted by that. 

When I think of Burton, I think of Conan O’brien’s early stint on Late Night...taking over for the great David Letterman. He was awkward and unpolished, but had the credentials and ultimately found his groove. I think Rogers would be a great host, but I would like to live in a world where we let Burton find his own…

An argument can be made in Jennings’ favor, but Rogers? He just doesn’t seem like a good fit; he’s a professional athlete, and I just don’t see how that “clicks” with the show.

to be this stunningly stupid is an achievement, in a way

His son was a prolific author, did about 50 stories.

What’s the difference between a bag of cocaine and Clapton’s 4-year-old son? He never let a bag of coke fall off a high-rise balcony.

I don’t like him as a choice of host. But I’m finding it difficult to get as worked up about it as everyone else.

I blame Woodrow F Call for not acknowledging his paternity

Their anti-static wristbands clipped sensually together...

The Obamas seem to get on well with the Bush family. Does that impact your sweeping statement?

I’m imagining that famous scene from Ghost, only instead of pottery they are assembling a PC.  

I really hope Corden isn’t an asshole, because I find him so uncharismatic and unfunny as an entertainer that I’d like to think he at least has found success thanks to a good personality. If he’s an asshole on top of being untalented then I straight-up don’t know what to make of him.

No, there’s no problem. It’s a really dumb thing to be mad about. It’s about as significant as a non-christian saying “Jesus Christ” when they stub their toe. Who fucking cares?

To be fair, if anyone tried to tell me the phrase ‘spirit animal’ is “cultural appropriation” I’d probably yell at them, myself. 

Lookit this guy, assembling his PC on a table, during daylight hours, in a nice outfit. Typical Hollywood - the rest of us stay up after the family goes to bed, slap an AMD processor into a case that might or might not have the correct power supply, and hope we can get five minutes of Mortal Kombat before we pass out…

“That was weird.”

This seems to be the breed of dumbshit who says ‘we’ when referring to their favorite sportsball team.

This fake history has to stop. He did not get sick from eating a pizza.

“New Haven pizza” is really poorly defined. Its basically just artisan pizza made around New haven. not a real style.