Inversion of Nazi facial hair:

That's funny. I'm from the South and I have no problem understanding you even though you're an uppity asshole. Different strokes I suppose.

Still less injuries than Spiderman: Turn Off the Dark

I'm confused about what there is to not understand here, but whatever.

I agree, though I'm thinking AVB might be rating Bale pretty highly right about now.

This awful story about Jaycob is making me ask an unnecessary why

Candice: It's okay if you that's too much for you, Hawkins. After all, Daddy has trouble with finishing too. That's why I call you our little miracle.

NFLPA rep: Roger, what did Dwight Gooden wear the one time he played soccer?

Rep: But where?

OBG: I'm feeling the urge to say Dockett

NFLPA rep: But Darnell's iPhone is about to die. What should he do?

NFLPA rep: Rog, you can't do that! He just got a new Jetski, what am I going to tell him?
Goodell: Dockett.

NFLPA rep: Okay, Rog. What should Darnell do with his iPhone?

NFLPA rep: What are you going to do about Darnell's pay?

The FIFA rankings are FOR SHIT. Brazil is #10, behind Switzerland. Ignore this bullshit.

The US needs to up its bribery game if it's ever gonna compete with the likes of France and Russia.

Then just get on your unicorn and ride the fuck away, after that happens.