Oh my god, I’m so sick of saying this, THAT’S NOT HOW THE FUCKING FIRST AMENDMENT WORKS.

Leave it to an abuser to not handle getting beat.

but his character made him that six-tool guy

“Jay, shotgun is the formation, not the accuracy setting you should be on.”

Well, I for one am shocked. I didn’t think we would hear a single story about anything being too secure in Rio this month.

What are the odds he takes a shortcut and becomes a policeman?

College football needs to die.

I call this piece, “Intercourse with a Kardashian”

“He must complete a series of tasks with increasing levels of physical exertion, and he must be determined to be symptom free after each task.”