They never took a doggie bag home and they never touched Golem Jesus’s meal.

yeah, had to deal with a hotel guest once who was a complete asshole. like asking to have porn charges taken off his room every day during his stay because “obviously he didn’t watch it, it was a mistake, he turned it off after 2 minutes” (dude, we know that’s not a “mistake” and now we know why you are alone) and…

A few nights ago, one of my Papa Johns co-workers fell down as he was about to put a pizza in the oven. Amazingly, he still got the pizza into the oven even as he was falling down. It was pretty remarkable.

The “drop ID in the mail” thing is technically true, in that the post office treats the ID as non-mail found in the mailbox and makes an effort to return it to the owner. At the library we regularly get packages of library books that someone dropped in a mailbox, and with only the library stamps as a guide, they’ll…

In all seriousness? If Comedy Central picked up BCO for a sketch comedy show formatted exactly like Drunk History, in that they pick a central narrator for each tale and real household-name actors dramatize the story and lipsync the dialog... I WOULD WATCH THE SHIT OUT OF THAT.

100 combo meals at McDonald’s? Really. Jesus, if you’ve got 100 drunk people to feed, order pizzas like a normal person.

“My husband and I are vegan. My daughter is vegetarian and both of them are allergic to gluten, lactose, shellfish, soya, onions, peppers and GM foods.” I’m assuming the kids survive on eating air, then. Assuming it’s not red air, cause they’d probably be allergic to that too.

We’re coming home along the Thruway and decide to stop at McD’s. There’s a woman and smallish kid in front of us getting huffy and I can tell this won’t end well. And in due time she starts yelling at the cashier, “Why is everything more expensive here? This is ridiculous! You’re ripping people off!” and so on, as the…

Regarding the screaming woman in the pizza place: I did have an occasion once where my then 2.5 year old daughter asked me why some woman was yelling at an employee at my local grocery store. It gave me great pleasure to explain, very loudly, that the yelling woman was mean and nasty and probably very unhappy with her…

Crown Royal is a brown solvent that comes in an oddly shaped bottle in a blue velveteen bag. The bag is for your Scrabble tiles.

Exactly.

i do the dull 'yaaaay' from this and no one ever fucking gets it