Omg, I want to find a comment this poster wrote once about supporting a local, high-end mayonnaise store! He was going so hard like it’s my inalienable right to support the mayonnaise making craft. No sense of irony. It was the best.

They can’t interrogate a minor without the parents being present. If the ACLU wants to take up the case (I think they have) and SUE the effin’ school, police dept. and everybody else involved in this ridiculousness, I hope they do and they WIN.

Oh cum all ye faithful.

They didn’t have a prenup. He wanted one, she said no. The funny thing is, without the show or Nick, Jessica wouldn’t be where she is today. So calling her first marriage her “biggest money mistake” is simply not true.

I doubt she would have much a career today had it not been for Newlyweds, so I call bullshit on that.

All the stars to your dad

My ex-fiance is now a priest (not Catholic), and one summer he stayed in the guest room at the parish priest’s house. I was between housing situations for a night, so they let me stay over, and we went at it like rabbits. So yeah, did it with an almost-priest in a current priest’s house.

My Jewish parents attended mass given at the Vatican by Pope John Paul II. I asked why, and my dad told me he was hungry and wanted the cracker.

This woman is THE WOOOOORRRRRSSSSSTTT.

If it makes you feel better, I distinctly remember seeing the headlines referring to Grace Jones “shading” Miley et. al. and knew you’d have to bring it up...how is this concept so difficult to understand? When you explicitly insult someone by name, that’s not shade, that’s just called explicitly insulting someone by…

BURN ITALY TO THE GROUND.

That IS pretty fantastic. That’s why I’ve been looking into the IUD more than the pill (my roommate told me that she and her brother were BOTH conceived on the pill, there’s no way I’m risking that). Once I have health insurance I will be getting myself to a gyno posthaste.

More like, “Bye, Flo-ecia!”

Look into an IUD they are amazing and extremely effective. I know they say you should wait to use them until you have already had a child but I don't think there's a lot of evidence to back that up and they have some smaller ones now too like the Skyla

I’ve got Skyla, and I get what could almost be considered a very very light normal period like every other month and spotting on the opposite months. Good times!!

I am on month 7 with my Mirena and my period is finally almost gone. BYE FELICIA.

Yeah I wanted to post this on facebook with some commentary about why it’s awful but I don't want to give her the page views.

Also, is there a “Asshole says something terrible and uses satire as an excuse” punch card I don’t know about?

I’m hoping that if I ever have a wedding, my photographer has the technology to make me look more like Helen Mirren in the photos. But that’s *MY* choice.